Thursday, May 10, 2012

Special Friends

Today I was social dynamite; I kept making friends! Guys LOVE the blonde by the way, especially if you can work it the way I do.  Firstly I met this undead dude called Malchia. All I had to do was give a cheeky little /wink and he was eating out of my Enumerated Handwraps, 63 armor, +7 stamina, intellect and haste. He was my little bitch, running around doing my errands and helping me quest.



He's been showing me the sighs, this is us in the Dwarven region.  I did get slaughtered a few hundered times by dwarves but hey, what you gunna do.  He told me he actually paid real money for the mount he is riding... I'm considering it myself. Imagine how much penis I'd get if I rode around on something like that?! They'd flock, I wouldn't need to find a warlock to cast that summoning spell after all.

As for my real life, not much to report except I just paid for the year's subscription to WoW.  I got really neat stuff in game

Farewell,
Fallyn

Saturday, February 25, 2012

ERP?

So there I was, just chilling in the Undercity (shit hole) when along comes Cameron on his epic flying mount (flashy prick).  I had ignored him for too long so he decided to come find me in the game by using the in game search.  He started giving me shit, mumping his gums at me moaning that I hadn't spoken to him in ages and that was I going off him? If he had offended me? Can we play together? What's my name in real life? (I told him Sophie haha) And just really creepy stalkerish shit in general...

I've seen the dark side to this bloody game.  If you play as a chick, guys give you shit.  My character is basically an elven hooker. You can make your character do things by typing "/insertcommandhere" into the chat function.... par exampla if I said "/sit" my character would sit. Y'alls can imagine just how creepy shit gets, and it gets there fast.  My experiences with this has been as thus:

There I was, killing these mutant mermaid things that savage the hell out of you if given the chance when this dude trots on up to me on his horse.
"/wave" he did, so of course, being the lovely lady I am "/wave"d back.  Innocent? I thought so. Apprently to him this gesture meant I wanted to splay me legs and have inter racial babies with him. I was getting all sort of shit like "/wink /flirt /kiss /hug" and saying he wanted to talk dirty to me and have ERP. Now I know what you're thinking; what in the hell is ERP? Well I was too, that's why I asked. EROTIC ROLE PLAY! That will be shining fucking bright son.  Unfortunately "/fuck off" doesn't work. 
I can imagine him now, sitting on the other side of the screen in his dirty wife beater and undies and trucker hat waiting for things to get steamy.  Either that or he'll be in a college dorm with no friends and a life time supply of mountain dew, tissues at the ready.

This is too funny with Cammy though, the boy is clearly not right in the head.  I can never tell him though, I'm just gunna have to deal with it and become bloody "Sophie" when he comes pestering me again.  I should just tell him my boyfriend will kick his ass if he keeps it up.... but I'm kind so I wouldn't do that.

I'm going to go play again, I'm almost at level 40! This means I can get my decrepit pile of shit horse traded in for a fancy, speedier one. Hollaaaaaaa

Bye loverzzzz
x


Saturday, February 18, 2012

Ding!

Guess what guys... I REACHED MY FIRST WORLD OF WARCRAFT MILESTONE.  Ok, so maybe not that exciting but still, I reached level 20! Which means *drumroll*....... My character got a lovely little skeletal horse to run around upon.

"Ask me if I'm a horse." "Are you a horse?" "NAAAAY"
So, at this point in time I'm running around a jungle filled with dwarves on a horse that looks like it's several decades past it's sell by date, lets hope it doesn't lose a hoof on a root and send my poor character airborn into some dwarven lair where they will do wicked things to her lifeless corpse...

On another, less necrophiliac note, I have nothing more to report on the Cameron front as of yet except from the fact that he's still being exceptionally creepy.  So this is what it feels like to be a girl in real life? Guys relentlessly pursuing you for you email, you name, your number? Jesus tits, he won't give up.  He has given me a lot of help in the game though and a lot of money, I don't think I should tell him it's actually me that plays Fallyn.  I might just block him. That would be a funny story:
 "Dude, quit creeping on my Blood Elf."
"Nah man just go with it."


We'll just have to wait and see what happens, if he doesn't back off he's getting blocked and I'm printing this blog and posting it on the school notice board.

Farewell Minions,
Jake

Monday, February 13, 2012

That Shit Cray

Ok, so I've not made a post in a while for a two reasons:
a)  School has been really busy
b) I thought I'd actually start doing what I promised so I've been playing this game, and guess what!? It's workiiiing.

So I basically have a stalker now, my friend Cameron.  After that initial contact we made I approached him again and asked him to help me.  He ate that shit up, saying how I am his ward or something along those lines... Anyway, after he helped me for a bit and we got chatting, I logged off.  I logged back on two days later and check this out:


What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?  HA, he wants my facebook? Creepy. What next, a picture of my tits?

I have a dilemma also, I'm starting to get into this game actually. It's not bad, ok, so it's a bunch of nerds running around as elves or trolls and shooting fire and bows at people in sick, twisted ways but tell me this, how many of you have looked in the mirror and not thought "Today I fancy killing some humans by scalding them in holy light?" If you say never you're a lying piece of shit and deserve to die.
Dilemma is, I like my character, but, my friend thinks I'm a chick. I think it would be fun to play with him but... I think I'm just gunna stick with it for now; he gives me in game money! 

I wonder if it's going to lead to a whole "coming out" thing to my friends.
"Friends, sit down, I have something to tell you... I... I... I PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT"
"That shit be cool Jake, we still love you, no matter who you are" =')

So I'll see how things pan out,
Cheeeeeers
Jake




Sunday, February 5, 2012

....Duh?



World of Warcraft < SUPER BOWL

Haters Gawn Hate

So... I've been receiving some feedback about my blog from some random fuckers whom I've never even met. 

Some biatch has accused me of becoming obsessed. ME. Ha, yeah. Good luck with that whoever the hell you are.

Also, some dumbass jock type has said he was going to push me into stuff? Sounds to me like he's some sort of homosexual deviant bound to end up in leather chaps being whipped with an apple in his mouth in the years to come.  Push me into stuff? Really? What's next, are you going to hit me with your dildo?


So I've made progress with Cameron.  There I was, checking my in game mail when - like a creeper - his character came over and started introducing himself to me.  Something along the lines of "Greetings elf blah blah I'm queer blah blah..." Anyway I guess he thought I was some really hot chick that was playing WoW.

After making this initial contact I signed off because... y'know, I have a life. Went on a date with some girl from school, don't know why; she has a monstrous beak of a nose. Made out for a bit. I'm lucky to still have my vision.

Anyways I'm bored now,

Ciao muthasuckas
Jake

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Time Really Does Fly When You're Slaughtering Innocent Tigers

So I literally just spent the last 2 hours of my life - without me even realising - running around some forest killing endangered tigers with bolts of light that I can apparently shoot from my fingertips, all because a man in a dress told me I had to...

Nothing like a bit of genocide first thing in the morning!

poor unsuspecting bugger

AAAANYWAY, I've still not bumped into Cameron in game yet, even though I was hanging around the elf city like a hooker trying to find him.  I was approached however, some guy came up to me asking for a "buff"? I told the pervert to fuck off as me not being down with the Warcraft lingo assumed that he was wanting me to wank off on cam for him. My poor character was sexually harassed by a man probably in his late thirties hiding behind the alias of a character called "Mukoe!"

Turns out that because I'm a priest I can put spells on people that make them stronger and this is what "buff" means...?

 Whatever.

I really want to find Cameron soon as my free trial will run out in a few days and I really have to mind fuck him before it does!

In the meantime I'll be running around killing tigers and stealing their skin.

Peace.
Jake